《笨汉杰克》，1855 年
Jack the dullard, 1855
一个古老故事的新编
在这个国家的内地深处，有一座古老的男爵府邸，府里住着一位年迈的领主，他有两个儿子，这两个年轻人都自认为聪明绝顶。
AN oLd StoRY toLd ANEw
Far in the interior of the country lay an old baronial hall, and in it lived an old proprietor, who had two sons, which two young men thought themselves too clever by half.
他们想出去向国王的女儿求婚；因为这位公主已经公开宣布，她要选那个能把话说得最动听的年轻人做丈夫。
they wanted to go out and woo the King’s daughter; for the maiden in question had publicly announced that she would choose for her husband that youth who could arrange his words best.
于是这两位天才为求婚准备了整整一个星期 —— 这是能给他们的最长时间了；但也足够了，因为他们之前掌握了很多预备知识，而且大家都知道那有多有用。
So these two geniuses prepared themselves a full week for the wooing — this was the longest time that could be granted them; but it was enough, for they had had much preparatory information, and everybody knows how useful that is.
其中一个能把整本拉丁语词典都背下来，而且还能把小镇三年的日报内容倒背如流，事实上，他可以随心所欲地正背或倒背。
one of them knew the whole Latin dictionary by heart, and three whole years of the daily paper of the little town into the bargain, and so well, indeed, that he could repeat it all either backwards or forwards, just as he chose.
另一个则对社团法研读颇深，对每个社团应该知道的事情都了如指掌；因此他觉得自己能谈论国家大事，还能在议会里插上一手。
the other was deeply read in the corporation laws, and knew by heart what every corporation ought to know; and accordingly he thought he could talk of affairs of state, and put his spoke in the wheel in the council.
而且他还多知道一件事：他能在吊裤带上绣上玫瑰和其他花卉，还有阿拉伯式花纹，因为他是个有品味、手指灵巧的家伙。
And he knew one thing more: he could embroider suspenders with roses and other flowers, and with arabesques, for he was a tasty, light-fingered fellow.
“我会赢得公主的！” 他们俩都这样喊道。
“I shall win the princess!” So cried both of them.
于是他们年迈的父亲给了他们每人一匹漂亮的马。
therefore their old papa gave to each of them a handsome horse.
那个能背下词典和报纸的年轻人得到了一匹黑马，而那个熟知社团法的人则得到了一匹乳白色的骏马。
the youth who knew the dictionary and newspaper by heart had a black horse, and he who knew all about the corporation laws received a milk-white steed.
然后他们用鱼油擦了擦嘴角，这样说起话来就能变得非常顺滑流利。
then they rubbed the corners of their mouths with fish-oil, so that they might bee very smooth and glib.
所有的仆人都站在院子里，看着他们骑上马；碰巧老三这时走了过来。
All the servants stood below in the courtyard, and looked on while they mounted their horses; and just by chance the third son came up.
因为领主其实有三个儿子，不过没人把老三和他的两个哥哥算在一起，因为他不像他们那样有学问，实际上大家都叫他 “笨汉杰克”。
For the proprietor had really three sons, though nobody counted the third with his brothers, because he was not so learned as they, and indeed he was generally known as “Jack the dullard.”
“喂！” 笨汉杰克说，“你们要去哪儿？
我看你们都穿上礼拜天的衣服了！”
“hallo!” said Jack the dullard, “where are you going?
I declare you have put on your Sunday clothes!”
“我们要去王宫，去向国王的女儿求婚。
你不知道全国都已经发布的那个通告吗？”
他们把这事儿全告诉了他。
“we’re going to the King’s court, as suitors to the King’s daughter.
don’t you know the announcement that has been made all through the country?”
And they told him all about it.
“哎呀！我也要去掺和一下！” 笨汉杰克叫道；他的两个哥哥听了都哈哈大笑起来，然后骑马走了。
“my word! I’ll be in it too!” cried Jack the dullard; and his two brothers burst out laughing at him, and rode away.
“爸爸，亲爱的，” 杰克说，“我也得有匹马呀。
我真的太想结婚了！如果她接受我，那就接受呗；要是她不要我，我也要得到她；反正她得是我的！”
“Father, dear,” said Jack, “I must have a horse too.
I do feel so desperately inclined to marry! If she accepts me, she accepts me; and if she won’t have me, I’ll have her; but she shall be mine!”
“别胡说八道了，” 老绅士回答道，“我不会给你马的。
你都不知道怎么说话 —— 你不会组织语言。
你的哥哥们和你可大不一样。”
“don’t talk nonsense,” replied the old gentleman.
“You shall have no horse from me.
You don’t know how to speak — you can’t arrange your words.
Your brothers are very different fellows from you.”
“好吧，” 笨汉杰克说，“要是我得不到马，我就骑我的公山羊，它驮我也能驮得挺好！”
“well,” quoth Jack the dullard, “If I can’t have a horse, I’ll take the billy-goat, who belongs to me, and he can carry me very well!”
说干就干。
And so said, so done.
他骑上公山羊，把脚跟往它身侧一夹，就像一阵飓风似的沿着大街疾驰而去。
he mounted the billy-goat, pressed his heels into its sides, and galloped down the high street like a hurricane.
“嘿，嚯！这一路骑得真带劲！我来啦！” 笨汉杰克大喊着，还唱起歌来，歌声传得老远老远。
“hei, houp! that was a ride! here I e!” shouted Jack the dullard, and he sang till his voice echoed far and wide.
但他的两个哥哥在他前面慢悠悠地骑着。
they spoke not a word, for they were thinking about the fine extempore speeches they would have to bring out, and these had to be cleverly prepared beforehand.
“喂！” 笨汉杰克喊道，“我在这儿呢！看看我在大路上捡到了什么。”
“hallo!” shouted Jack the dullard.
“here am I! Look what I have found on the high road.”
他把捡到的东西给他们看，原来是一只死乌鸦。
And he showed them what it was, and it was a dead crow.
“笨蛋！” 哥哥们叫道，“你拿那个要做什么？”
“dullard!” exclaimed the brothers, “what are you going to do with that?”
“拿这只乌鸦？
嘿，我要把它送给公主呀。”
“with the crow?
why, I am going to give it to the princess.”
“行啊，你送吧。” 他们说；然后笑了起来，继续骑马前行。
“Yes, do so,” said they; and they laughed, and rode on.
“喂，我又来啦！瞧瞧我现在又捡到什么了：可不是每天在大路上都能捡到这个的！”
“hallo, here I am again! just see what I have found now: you don’t find that on the high road every day!”
哥哥们转过身来看看他这次又捡到什么了。
And the brothers turned round to see what he could have found now.
“笨蛋！” 他们喊道，“那不过是一只旧木鞋，而且鞋面还不见了呢；你也要把这个送给公主吗？”
“dullard!” they cried, “that is only an old wooden shoe, and the upper part is missing into the bargain; are you going to give that also to the princess?”
“我当然要送啦。” 笨汉杰克回答道；哥哥们又笑了起来，继续骑马前行，这样他们就远远地把他甩在了后面；但是 ——
“most certainly I shall,” replied Jack the dullard; and again the brothers laughed and rode on, and thus they got far in advance of him; but —
“喂 —— 嚯啦啦！” 笨汉杰克又出现了。
“hallo — hop rara!” and there is Jack the dullard again.
“越来越有意思啦。” 他喊道，“太棒啦！这可太出名啦。”
“It is getting better and better,” he cried.
“hurrah! it is quite famous.”
“哟，你这次又捡到什么了？”
哥哥们问道。
“why, what have you found this time?”
inquired the brothers.
“哦，” 笨汉杰克说，“我都快说不出来了。公主会多高兴呀！”
“oh,” said Jack the dullard, “I can hardly tell you.
how glad the princess will be!”
“呸！” 哥哥们说，“那不就是沟里的泥巴嘛。”
“bah!” said the brothers; “that is nothing but clay out of the ditch.”
“对呀，确实是呢，” 笨汉杰克说，“而且是最好的那种泥巴。
看，它湿乎乎的，都能从手指缝里流下去呢。”
他还往口袋里装满了泥巴。
“Yes, certainly it is,” said Jack the dullard; “and clay of the finest sort.
See, it is so wet, it runs through one’s fingers.”
And he filled his pocket with the clay.
可他的哥哥们策马飞奔，马蹄下火星四溅，结果他们比笨汉杰克早整整一个小时到达城门口。
but his brothers galloped on till the sparks flew, and consequently they arrived a full hour earlier at the town gate than could Jack.
现在，在城门口，每个求婚者都领到一个号码，一到那儿就立刻被排成行，每行六人，而且紧紧地挤在一起，胳膊都动不了；这安排很明智，因为要是他们能动手的话，肯定会打起来的，就因为有人站在别人前面。
Now at the gate each suitor was provided with a number, and all were placed in rows immediately on their arrival, six in each row, and so closely packed together that they could not move their arms; and that was a sensible arrangement, for they would certainly have e to blows, had they been able, merely because one of them stood before the other.
周围乡村的所有居民都成群结队地围在城堡周围，几乎就在窗户底下，要看公主接见求婚者；而每个求婚者一走进大厅，似乎就丧失了说话的能力，就像蜡烛被吹灭了光亮一样。
All the inhabitants of the country round about stood in great crowds around the castle, almost under the very windows, to see the princess receive the suitors; and as each stepped into the hall, his power of speech seemed to desert him, like the light of a candle that is blown out.
然后公主就会说：“他没用！把他赶出大厅！”
then the princess would say, “he is of no use! Away with him out of the hall!”
终于轮到那个能把词典倒背如流的哥哥了；可这会儿他却忘得一干二净，根本想不起来了；他的脚步声在木板地上回响，大厅的天花板是用镜子做的，所以他看到自己头朝下站着；窗边站着三个文书和一个文书主管，他们每个人都在把说出的每一个字记下来，好登在报纸上，拿到街角去卖一便士一份呢。
At last the turn came for that brother who knew the dictionary by heart; but he did not know it now; he had absolutely forgotten it altogether; and the boards seemed to re-echo with his footsteps, and the ceiling of the hall was made of looking-glass, so that he saw himself standing on his head; and at the window stood three clerks and a head clerk, and every one of them was writing down every single word that was uttered, so that it might be printed in the newspapers, and sold for a penny at the street corners.
这真是一场严峻的考验，而且，他们还在炉子里生了好大的火，房间里热得像着了火似的通红。
It was a terrible ordeal, and they had, moreover, made such a fire in the stove, that the room seemed quite red hot.
“这儿热得要命！” 第一个哥哥说道。
“It is dreadfully hot here!” observed the first brother.
“是啊，” 公主回答说，“我父亲今天要烤小母鸡呢。”
“Yes,” replied the princess, “my father is going to roast young pullets today.”
“咩！” 他就像只咩咩叫的小羊羔似的站在那儿。他没料到会是这样的对答，想说点俏皮话却一个字也说不出来。
“baa!” there he stood like a baa-lamb.
he had not been prepared for a speech of this kind, and had not a word to say, though he intended to say something witty.
“baa!”
“他没用！” 公主说。“把他赶出去！”
“he is of no use!” said the princess.
“Away with him!”
于是他只得乖乖地走了。现在轮到第二个哥哥了。
And he was obliged to go accordingly.
And now the second brother came in.
“这儿热得可怕！” 他说道。
“It is terribly warm here!” he observed.
“是啊，我们今天要烤小母鸡呢。” 公主回答说。
“Yes, we’re roasting pullets to-day,” replied the princess.
“什么 —— 你 —— 你高兴 ——” 他结结巴巴地说 —— 所有的文书都记了下来，“高兴 ——”
“what — what were you — were you pleased to ob-” stammered he — and all the clerks wrote down, “pleased to ob-”
“他没用！” 公主说。“把他赶出去！”
“he is of no use!” said the princess.
“Away with him!”
现在轮到笨汉杰克了。他骑着山羊进了大厅。
Now came the turn of Jack the dullard.
he rode into the hall on his goat.
“哎呀，这儿热得够呛。”
“well, it’s most abominably hot here.”
“是啊，因为我正在烤小母鸡呢。”公主回答道。
“Yes, because I’m roasting young pullets,” replied the princess.
“啊，真幸运！”笨汉杰克叫道，“我想你会让我同时烤我的乌鸦吧？”
“Ah, that’s lucky!” exclaimed Jack the dullard, “for I suppose you’ll let me roast my crow at the same time?”
“非常乐意。”公主说。“不过你有什么东西可以用来烤它吗？因为我既没有锅也没有平底锅。”
“with the greatest pleasure,” said the princess.
“but have you anything you can roast it in?
for I have neither pot nor pan.”
“我当然有啦！”杰克说。“这儿有个带锡把手的炊具。”
“certainly I have!” said Jack.
“here’s a cooking utensil with a tin handle.”
他拿出那只旧木鞋，把乌鸦放了进去。
And he brought out the old wooden shoe, and put the crow into it.
“嗯，这可真是道名菜啊！”公主说。“不过我们用什么做酱汁呢？”
“well, that is a famous dish!” said the princess.
“but what shall we do for sauce?”
“哦，我口袋里有呢。”杰克说，“我有好多，扔掉一些也没关系。”说着他从口袋里倒出一些泥巴。
“oh, I have that in my pocket,” said Jack; “I have so much of it that I can afford to throw some away;” and he poured some of the clay out of his pocket.
“我喜欢这样！”公主说。“你能回答问题，还能为自己说上几句，所以你将成为我的丈夫。不过你知道吗，我们说的每一个字都被记下来了，明天就会登在报纸上。看那边，每个窗户那儿都有三个文书和一个文书主管；那个老文书主管是最讨厌的，因为他什么都不懂。”
“I like that!” said the princess.
“You can give an answer, and you have something to say for yourself, and so you shall be your husband.
but are you aware that every word we speak is being taken down, and will be published in the paper to-morrow?
Look yonder, and you will see in every window three clerks and a head clerk; and the old head clerk is the most讨厌的, for he can’t understand anything.”
但她这么说只是为了吓唬笨汉杰克；文书们高兴得大叫起来，每个人都把钢笔里的墨水溅了一点在地上。
but she only said this to frighten Jack the dullard; and the clerks gave a great crow of delight, and each one spurted a blot out of his pen on to the floor.
“哦，那些就是先生们呀？”杰克说，“那我要把我最好的东西送给文书主管。”
“oh, those are the gentlemen, are they?”
said Jack; “then I will give the best I have to the head clerk.”
他把口袋翻了个底朝天，把湿泥巴全朝文书主管的脸上扔了过去。
And he turned out his pockets, and flung the wet clay full in the head clerk’s face.
“这事儿干得真聪明。” 公主评价道。“我可做不到这点；但我迟早会学会的。”
“that was very cleverly done,” observed the princess.
“I could not have done that; but I shall learn in time.”
于是笨汉杰克当上了国王，戴上了王冠，还娶了妻子，坐上了宝座。
And accordingly Jack the dullard was made a king, and received a crown and a wife, and sat upon a throne.
这份报道是我们从文书主管的印刷所和印刷商公会那儿弄来的 —— 但他们的话一点儿也不可靠。
And this report we have wet from the press of the head clerk and the corporation of printers — but they are not to be depended upon in the least.